IF YOU AIN'T PRO LIFE

YOU'RE PRO DEATH.

THINGS I LEARNED FROM MALAYALAM CINEMA!!!!

1.YOU DON'T WORK FOR A BOSS WHO OWNS A PET CROCODILE.

2.YOU CAN'T START A TRAVEL AGENCY NAMED "GAFOOR TRAVELS" AND THEN EXPECT BUSINESS TO 'FLOURISH'.

3.ADOPTED CHILDREN INVARIABLY 'TURN' ON YOU,THIS IS PROBABLY BECAUSE THEY COME FROM ORPHANAGES WHICH ARE ALWAYS UNDERFUNDED AND DEPRIVED.

4.ILLICIT SEX ALWAYS LEADS TO MURDER.

5.YOU DON'T MESS WITH THE GUY WHO KNOWS HOW TO WALK IN 'SLOW MOTION'.

6.YOU DON'T CALL THE COPS FOR HELP,UNLESS THE OFFICER IN CHARGE REPEATEDLY USES THE WORD 'SHIT' FOR NO APPARENT REASON.

7.THE PEOPLE IN THE VILLAGES ARE NAIVE AND INNOCENT WHILE CITY DWELLERS ARE INSENSITIVE IMMORAL PIGS.

8.THE INDIAN LEGAL SYSTEM IS THE MOST EFFICIENT JUDICIAL BODY IN THE WORLD, WITH QUICKFIRE DISPOSAL OF CASES PRESIDED OVER BY INFINITELY PATIENT JUDGES WHO ARE MORE THAN WILLING TO ALLOW LAWYERS DELIVER DIGRESSIVE AND NEVER ENDING MELODRAMATIC SPEECHES.

9.IMPOSTORS ALWAYS FIND THEMSELVES IN COMEDIC SITUATIONS AND ARE ACTUALLY 'GOOD' PEOPLE WITH THE 'BEST' OF INTENTIONS.

10.'FOREIGNERS' ARE NOT ACTUALLY PEOPLE.THEY ARE A BUNCH OF SEXUALLY PROMISCUOUS,MORALLY DECADENT GROUP OF FREAKS WHO ARE PUT AMONGST US TO BE RIDICULED AND SET STRAIGHT BY US ENLIGHTENED ONES.

11.A THUNDERSTORM,A RAGING SEA IS ALWAYS INDICATIVE OF THE MENTAL TURMOIL AND ANGUISH THAT IS BEING ENDURED BY 'AN' INDIVIDUAL.

13.AN AUTOMOBILE COMES TO A HALT ONLY AFTER IT IS PRECEDED BY A SCREECHING NOISE.

14.ONLY WOMEN CAN BE FOUND GUILTY OF INFIDELITY.

15.'CHILDREN WRONG -PARENTS RIGHT' AND IN SOME CASES 'PARENTS RIGHT-CHILDREN WRONG.'

GOODNESS GRACIOUS

IN THE MANSION WHERE WE ALL HOPE FOR ROOM TO FIND,
THE POOR WIDOW WILL ALWAYS HAVE HER SHARE.
FOR WHEN WE GAVE SO LITTLE AND LEFT SO MUCH BEHIND,
SHE GAVE EVERYTHING AND NOT JUST WHAT SHE COULD SPARE.

THE MORE WE GIVE IN THE NAME OF CHARITY,
WILL ONE DAY PROVE TO BE FAR TOO LESS.
THEY WERE LIKE OFFERINGS MADE BY THE CRAFTY PHARISEE.
WHOSE EFFORTS WERE MADE BUT ONLY TO IMPRESS.